I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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