I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize