just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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