Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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