no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
