I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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