Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
