Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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