I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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