how can u be prego again
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
