Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
