I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
