I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
