oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize