Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
