yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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