is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
