it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
