she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I believe in your delicious
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
