Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize