Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
