I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
