Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
