You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
