I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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