Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
this will be a night to untag.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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