I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
