Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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