Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
