just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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