Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
