Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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