3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i out mim tonsoeep
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