After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So much rum. So many feels.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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