i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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