my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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