you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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