I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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