is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
