K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Randomize
