We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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