Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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