its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
