Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
