Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
its not stalking. its research.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
