My sheets look like a crime scene.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
