I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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