It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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