I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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