the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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