I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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