ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
