I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
