So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
porn star boner night. come get it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
