bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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