Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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