She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
