Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
