So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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