Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
