My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
