This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
