they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
