I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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