No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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