part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
