remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
