i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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